By: John Mangas, real estate broker
“No…that’s not what you said…”
And then it goes downhill from there.
Misunderstandings are a natural part of the communication cycle. If we become more aware of how we send and receive, respond and react, we reduce the number of misunderstandings that occur. As a RE/MAX Realtor and Broker in the Metro Toledo, Ohio area, I can attest that our clients very often don’t understand the home buying and selling process and depend on our skills to assist them.
There are 3 basic principles to follow:
1. Speak carefully
2. Listen attentively
3. Respond Accurately
Let’s begin with speaking carefully. To me that means we need to eliminate the trade jargon and speak to our clients in a concise, thoughtful way. Often times, this is where less really is more! Sticking to the facts of the matter and staying on topic are priorities. Avoid getting into run on explanations and scenarios that may or may not apply. Let’s face it, planting the “what if” seed doesn’t benefit anyone, so don’t plant it. This is where, as a trained professional, you watch their body language and gauge their reaction to your message.
Listening attentively is an area that we as human beings, much less Realtors need a reality check in. As outgoing gregarious associates, we are conditioned and even trained to have the answers. Unfortunately, we don’t always listen to the question before we offer up solutions. Effective communication under pressure must involve great listening skills. Those skills are deliberate and acquired over time. In other words, we must tell ourselves that we need to listen and focus on what they are saying, how they are saying it and pay specific attention to their body language. Empathy is a big part of hearing where the client is and gaining a better understanding of where they are. Being sure they know you have heard them and understand where they are coming from are elements of empathy. That’s not to say that you must agree with them; there will be plenty of opportunities to sort out their message, but now is not the time. A couple final thoughts on this: don’t interrupt, don’t get defensive, do turn your phone off and do take notes!
Ok you’re on! It’s time for you to respond back to them. Keep in mind that what you say is a small part of your overall message. Your facial expressions, vocal inflections, body language and even hand motions play a far bigger role than most of us would think. Life Coach Tom Ferry tells us that only 7% of communication involves the words and that 38% is tonality and 55% are the other non verbal gestures. I don’t know if he is correct, but let’s assume he could be off as much as half; that still means that we need to get better at packaging our message. Creating points of understanding is a great place to begin. Confirming what you believe they said and stating it back to them can be a great bridge builder. For example: “You mentioned that you needed possession at closing, is that correct?” This also shows them that you are listening to their concerns. Responding to the facts and keeping it simple is also important. Often times we allow ourselves to get off on tangents that only serve to confuse the issues. Like Detective Joe Friday used to say in the TV show Dragnet, “just the facts.”
Moving the conversation to points of agreement can begin to bring the conversation to a conclusion. Pointing out the things that everyone is in agreement on begins to show how much has been already agreed to, and when you get someone in a “YES” frame of mind, you are likely to get another yes! Dale Carnegie has taught this principle for years. Moving clients through issues and to a successful place of mutual agreement is not always easy, but very necessary if we want satisfied clients and future referrals.
For any questions on this topic, please contact me at www.MetroToledoHomes.com or at RE/MAX Preferred in Toledo Ohio Maumee Toledo , Oregon Sylvania
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